He called out the "I'm tired" excuse.
It's past 3AM and we've been chatting for a couple of days.
I didn't know why I bluffed out, maybe I've got cold feet or maybe I just wasn't feeling it.
I told him that I want a facial (my first). He obliges. He's a bit of a large guy, looks Japanese, almost 5'5", stocky. Muscle with fat on top. Bald. Tough looking and shit.
We met in his car a few blocks where I live. I slipped in and got that new car smell. I think it was a Mazda, roomy on the feet too.
We agreed on this park several blocks away. Part children's playground, baseball park, and flat grass, by some odd stroke of fate the street lamps were cut off by the sidewalk trees. If anyone has a good set of headlights and a sharp eye, they can see us. We choose the children's playground, the slides can cover us.
I knelt on the rubber floor and he opens his shorts. I sucked on his limp dick. It wasn't long enough to be banging at the end of my throat, but it wasn't short enough to disappoint either. It was just right.
I remember the fatigue of the workday leaving my body and diligently sucking this man, who was lighting a cigarette. I sucked harder and I guided his hand to the back of my head. He pushed.
When he was close, I gave attention to his balls. His cock was inches away from my face. He kept pumping and shoots on my face.
A sigh and some breaths later, he pointed to the water fountains a ten feet away from us, I didn't go, I licked some cum off my lips and took the cum of my face with my hand and wiping it all in my shirt.
He pointed up and I saw a homeless person sleeping in one of the plastic boxes a few feet from us.
Moments later, my eyes sting.
An inappropriate revelation: I need to focus more on my personal projects.
Several months after, I was inspired to go back to the apps and scout for some f/suck. Partly because Ace was sick at the moment.
I thought I was hot shit really, but the issues of the past seems to know when to haunt me the most. Rather, my old habits of desperation and neediness seems to go back on because, in essence, I really have no idea how these apps and their contexts work.
First guy who messaged me got more photos of my cock and only a sliver of his back. I was duped, it's a nice thing that I didn't show him my face.
I was cowered back to this shameful creature. It's a shame really, because I look good.