ACE 5

XVI.

I texted him I want to try bondage.

In hindsight, the setting was poor. We only have a very small window of time, about two hours, to fuck. If it's just a basic fuck, there's ample time, but bondage with the blindfold and all that for the first time would require a lot of time. At least I was wearing my jockstrap at that time. Black with laces on the front.

After I entered the front door, I was ordered to kneel and wait orders.

A blindfold was slipped to me and my wrists were bound in front of me.

I was commanded to crawl to the bedroom. I crawled.

I was commanded to hop on to the bed and I did. I sucked him off for a while.

Then I was commanded to the edge of the bed and I did.

Then he slid himself in and told me to fuck myself. I was on my toes and my ankles tied, with my ass up, and face full of bed sheets. The pain and pleasure of going deep because of my fault balance is overwhelming.

There was a lot of resistance in my part. I was really humiliated and the verbal abuse was not really turning me on, probably triggering some trauma from the past. It was awful.

"I want to piss SIR." I was pissed and I really want to fight back, but you cant do that with a blindfold.

I was blindfolded, so there was no need to turn on the lights in the bathroom. I sat down to piss. Then that flashing white light blinked at me again. I know he was taking pictures from the start.

When I got back on the bed, he fucked me on my stomach with my hands tied. My ankles were far apart now, and he was getting in there deeper. He then stopped and flipped me over.

He told me he wont cum inside until I cum. It was difficult to concentrate, but I managed to. He told me to flip back.

He used the cum as lube and bred me. It felt different than spit and lube. More abrasive.

 As much as my fantasy was arousing, reality said otherwise. Later, he'd tell me I have "trouble with control." I'd also learn I'm not into verbal.

The pictures were sent to Security. Me in my jockstrap. Me sucking him. Me being fucked from behind. Me on the toilet and pissing. My ass glazed with cum after fucking me. Security liked them.

"God I'm fat," I said.

"No you're not." He's right.


XVII.

He was in a phone call about someone's accounts or something like that.

He seems to be talking with a client.

A woman from the sound of it.

Something about an event.

Receipts were needed and some other document(s).

I gave up trying to listen. It's none of my business.

I meet his hips to my face. That's my fucking business.

My business is opening my mouth wider while he fucks my face and answers this business call.


XIX.

I gave him a watercolor painting (one of the best), and a Ray Bradbury ("that was weird," he said). He gave me Aloha shirts, regular t-shirts, sport shirts, some underwear, and four Handjob Magazines from a stash under his bed.

FME-699

1.

I was a year or so off from being a teenager. My first black dude and in-car blowjob and I was more nervous than I was excited.

I put up an ad (probably for just a blow-and-suck buddy), and we agreed to meet at a park parking lot.

I walked a little around the park, the night was settling in and it was as dark as it can be with post-work traffic and lampposts. It was probably so bright that I didn't notice the sky if there were any stars.

He parked at the least lit place, and moved to the spot under the lamppost.

I asked him this and he reasoned that there were people standing on the sides of the parked car right next to him, so he moved. Right under the lamppost.

It was reasonable.

There was no pre-blowjob antics; no kissing, petting, and nipple squeezing. In commando, his cock easily slipped out. Like some car ballet, we reclined at around the same time and I sucked him under the yellow beam of the lamppost.

It was thick and long enough to make me choke. He quietly came and, he stopped me from sucking him a bit more.

When he sucked me off, I was so anxious that I didn't let him finish me off. I was too anxious to sink into the blowjob. I jacked off at the end of it.

We wiped each other down with paper towels and that's it.


It felt like the whole thing was routine. Like nothing special happened, but I guess that's because there wasn't any built up or a connection. Another theory is that he can sense my inexperience. Whatever.

The one thing that made me laugh about my time with this guy, was that while I was at work I texted him if I could do it with his friends since he's busy. (We never met again.)

Yeah, that was really funny.


2.

He an Asian guy around my age. He also knows the native tongue.

Any sex related talk in native language while you're having sex is fucking weird. It's not that I'm ashamed to use the language, but I use this language to speak with my mother and other important people in my life. The language prompts their images in my mind.

In addition to the language, Med Student comes off as a variant of me. A version of me with more pounds on him, longer hair and a smaller cock. When we both realized that were living with our families, he thought of it as a blight on his existence. I thought of it as a money-saving opportunity.

When he said << penis >>, it almost threw me off balance.

He came a lot, and I got up from his lap with both cheeks puffed up.

I swallowed some of it, which threw him in a frenzy. He demanded me to spit it outside and gargle some water.

There was no reciprocation, he just promised it. As a med student, he also reminded me to get tested.

A few days later, he wants to meet again and he seemed to like me more than I wanted him to.

I asked Ace for boy advice.

I decided not to meet him again.

Self Limits

Night. I have my usual jacket-shirt-jeans garb on which is enough to ward off the freezing night winds. I was in the app waiting to get invited in.

I was waiting to be invited to this chub's place for some fucking and I was also chatting it up with nice looking Guy, a Pacific Islander who I think is handsome. I called Chub in the phone number he gave to me for an interview. Turns out, Guy is in the same apartment as Chub is; foursome in the making.

Talking with Chub was really interesting. In the app there was this occasional "bro" every sentence, but when it got to the phone call, the syntax was completely different. It didn't help that the voice in my imagination was totally different from the voice I'm hearing at the other end. It was way higher than I expected. Very high.

I was walking around the block, wrapping myself with my jacket with one hand while holding the phone with the other. I understand now that as host, Chub needs to practically know a lot more about me than physical appearance. Harmony between people (four in this case) is more than just good looks.

"The last bus goes out at around 1AM."

"Oh, that's gonna be rushed. When do you start work?"

"I start work at six..."

"Oh, you can't come in at three? four? five?"

"That's usually a time I set for my personal self."

Apart from time and space, there was another problem.

"... I don't even know if your a top---" His "significant other" is a top and Guy is a vers.

"Oh, I'm a bottom," I said (a little too automatically for my taste).

"Oh, we need a top ---"

Whatever was said here was blocked in my head, there was also this cold pit in my stomach. This is a week or so back from a long hiatus from the apps/internet, finding my old habits of dealing with rejection. The thing with Ace still stung.

Yes, I felt dejected and totally unworthy of sexual attraction. Yes, I took that very personally and got fucking sad.

He was apologizing, and I was rushing him with "okay" and "It's fine" because my manners were running thin.

I went home. Indignant.

I got pinged at the app once again. It was JD and Husky.

Husky was located somewhere between a bus transfer, in a neighborhood that's really dark. It's also sketchy because I got mugged a few times. Walking at night to Husky's place is a nightmare to my irrational mind.

From the bus stop to his place is about fifteen to twenty minutes, not to mention that it's an uphill walk. I calculated that there's an hour to get there, fuck or whatever, and get out. Running downhill is easier so there's a five minute margin.

I went to find the place. It took a while of dodging cars and running to the next puddle of light to finally get there. A car and an occasional person on a bike would make my heart jump. It also doesn't help that his place was near a park with no lights (it also doesn't help that most of my clothes are dark). My imagination is on double time and the images I came with did not induce any boners in my case.

I finally figured out the place, and he met me at the entrance of the complex. His makeshift bed, a blanket and futon, was right next to the front door while light from a room bleeds in. He warns me to be quiet.

Husky asked me in the app a week before if I was okay with him being "husky". I told him its okay, I consider myself "husky" too. He's about my height and twenty to thirty pounds heavier than me.

Aside from the bed, there's one large wicker chair and a flat screen TV in the living room. We kissed in the semi-dark, if he was trying to suck my face the way his lips moved over mine would've been perfect. I really didn't want to kneel and initiate a blowjob first, but I did. The carpeted floor made my descent a little comfortable.

His cock was easy to slide in my mouth. Fueled with indignation and just plain horny, I bobbed up and down as expertly as I could. We tussled a few, until the only article of clothing left between us was his Green Lantern t-shirt flipped over his head exposing his smooth and large belly. Husky actually tried to pry my head off his dick three times because he was close to cumming. Then he'd guide my face to his so we'd kiss in breaks.

Moron

We met from my post in the internet. When I look back at it, I was a desperate immature git; it's a relief that I actually improved. I was green, stupid, and horny late teenager. He was around twice my age.

We met at a park in his part of the state. I was tired from lack of sleep and too warm from my jacket.

He drove me to his house. Roughly an hour.

Being a little more prudish back then, I balked when his hand went over to my crotch. Well, he was driving through a crowded street.

He owns a large lot with a small house and a vegetable garden.

We went inside. Foreplay wasn't that much. He smoked weed and I sucked his cock.

I had no knowledge of anatomy whatsoever and I have an awful thing about learning things the hard way.

I insisted that he wear a condom and fuck me on my back.

Years later, I would've told this youngster that unless the person has a disproportionately small penis, fucking on his back is a little painful unless there's A LOT of lube in there and a lot of stretching involved. Also, lots of foreplay.

Good news was, I didn't end up being fucked on my back. It was on my stomach.

Bad news: no lube.

It was one of the most painful sexual experiences ever. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I didn't have enough mental and physical strength to actually get this man off me, so I fucking took it. The pain and all.

It felt like hours.

But as you can see, I'm alive and better.

When it was done, he took out the condom and I got a shower. Got dressed. He gave me some stuff from his vegetable garden, and I got to the furthest bus stop as he can take me. He told me how expensive the gas was. I told him I'm having a headache.

My long hair's wet, I have a headache and I didn't cum.

Months after I met Ace.

Noob

I was getting on the bus on my way to work when I got pinged.

First message: his cock photo.

At that time, I was amazed.

Probably around 6, it has a consistent thinness from base to head. He's cut.
He told me to meet him at the Department Store, third floor men's restroom.

"Power walk" would be a right term to how I got there.

When I got into the restroom, I was in front of the middle bathroom stall, thinking that we'd both see each other and fuck there. It took me a while to figure out what this scene meant.

So, I took the handicapped stall and put some toilet seat paper liners on the seat and waited for whatever. Then he lowers himself to the partition and slid his cock under it.

Oh, so that's how it works.

I immediately prostrated myself on the restroom floor, not caring for cleanliness, I'm sucking cock. I put the whole thing in my mouth, it fits comfortably in there sitting at the back of my throat, poking a bit on my gag reflexes.

We traded blowjobs and played red-light-jump-squat-green-light-jump-squat with the people who actually need to use the restroom. At one point, he puts his finger up my ass.

Three times, I jumped back and forth to the seat and floor. It was a comfortable jump because of the handicap stall. You can do calisthenics in there. Pure adrenaline and testosterone.

I ended up cumming by just sitting there in the sheer novelty of the experience. And shame, let's not forget that. I can't hold it in. A stream of white came out the slit, my head moist.

I apologized for cumming, thought thinking back, I wish I stayed there and let the other guy lap over my cum. And stick more of his fingers up my ass.

But no. I fucking apologized for cumming early.

When I left the stall, it seems he was preoccupied by another person at his right. Oh, this was a master.

Sex was still new and evil to me. Sex outside the bedroom was extremely a no-no, I was taught.

I went to work late.

Enough 3

IV

I'm in the mall that afternoon. Hot. Haven't eaten breakfast. I just got there in hopes of getting some dick.

It was shameful really. I was grovelling without a grovel-ee.

I realized that it was such a disrespectful display for myself. I went back to my hang-out to eat.

V

I chatted up with someone on the way back.

A very good looking guy in an open relationship. I'm curious about these things.

"Do you have some rules?"

"Yeah... I got to tell the partner first." He typed.

We traded body and face pics. He's a good looking guy, leaner and more defined than me. His skin is almost translucent, like it's glowing or something. A David splashed with flesh tone. Some wonders of Pacific Islander combined with White ancestry.

In a restroom, I took of my jacket, shirt and dropped my pants to my knees.

I got called a stud.

That compliment was like an expensive gem someone would find on the street.

I was overjoyed, but some parts of me couldn't believe the compliment. So i had to double-check with Ace.

"Yes, you are a stud," he texted back.

I felt good.

Enough 2

III.

I got a message. OMIGOD a message!

Prof steered from a general question to a meeting. I let him without showing me a more detail photo of himself and giving his stats a second look. He didn't ask for photos either.

He proposed his office in the local university. I was stoked, Prof is a Professor in the university, it's hot and kinky!

I didn't trust my instincts enough, It was screaming no, but I was pushing against the waves.

I moved based on my assumptions.

Me [morning]: In the bus. On my way. Can I ask you for something?

Prof: Sure.

M: Role-play.

P: Can try what do you like?

M: I'm going to fail one class and I need some help or my scholarship would be shit.

I arrived in this dilapidated building in the campus. I later learned it was close to demolition. Inside, it feels like Silent Hill.

I went to the floor where his office was. After landing, all the sides were blocked with doors. I tried my left and right to no avail. The one in front of me opened.

Oh Jesus. I realized by then I should've asked for a photo. I'll admit, I still prey victim to the kind of thinking that things should be of a certain way even if you didn't do the work.

I went inside his office. It was dingy and awful, really the school should take care of its staff.

My imagination got the best of me. He's more like a superintendent or custodian.

He then locked the door, by jamming it with what seems to be a vary small screwdriver as long as my middle finger.

"Do you want to do the role-play?" He's sitting on his office chair in front of an overcrowded desk.

His radio is talking, "something in the girls bathroom... a clog." Static.

"No."

"Let's make ourselves comfortable." He walked over to where I was sitting, a fold-out mattress.

Foreplay was bland. He's probably enjoying it, but I was trying not to show my mental state on my face, which was a combination of repulsion, regret, and self-hatred for being swayed by my most primal instinct and irrational thoughts. He lay on his back while I made out with him, or rather while I sucked his moribund tongue. Move you idiot.

He used generous amounts of hand lotion and his fingers and dick slid in easily, I made it difficult for him by being fucked on my back with my legs up. I was remembering the last time Ace and I fucked, it was the first time on my back (after three years of fucking).

Because he's stomach was in the way, it was a laborious effort from the sounds of his breathing. Wheezes. From where I am, I can see under his nose; lots of white hairs in there. I wondered, if mine will look like that when I'm older. Probably.

We finally went on to spooning, still wheezing. I'm contracting my hole whenever he pulls out and pushing back at him to speed up the process.

He's plunging into me.

Pumping into my tank.

Cleaning my pipes.

Decloging my hole.

He stopped moving. Dead? He was fucking me and he died.

He sighed.

Oh.

My dick was wet, precum or spit I don't know.

He go a roll of paper towel and took out a feet or so with a movement familiar to all janitors and me. I wiped myself and stuffed it in my bag, for some reason I made sure that I never left any traces.

I was mute throughout the whole thing, answering as short as possible.

"So, hit me up when you want to talk or something."

"Yeah."

Later, he texted.

"I came a lot, did you feel that?"

Sure, there was evidence at the toilet. But I can't bring myself to lie, so I didn't answer.

Enough 1

I.

He called out the "I'm tired" excuse.

It's past 3AM and we've been chatting for a couple of days.

I didn't know why I bluffed out, maybe I've got cold feet or maybe I just wasn't feeling it.

I told him that I want a facial (my first). He obliges. He's a bit of a large guy, looks Japanese, almost 5'5", stocky. Muscle with fat on top. Bald. Tough looking and shit.

We met in his car a few blocks where I live. I slipped in and got that new car smell. I think it was a Mazda, roomy on the feet too.

We agreed on this park several blocks away. Part children's playground, baseball park, and flat grass, by some odd stroke of fate the street lamps were cut off by the sidewalk trees. If anyone has a good set of headlights and a sharp eye, they can see us. We choose the children's playground, the slides can cover us.

I knelt on the rubber floor and he opens his shorts. I sucked on his limp dick. It wasn't long enough to be banging at the end of my throat, but it wasn't short enough to disappoint either. It was just right.

I remember the fatigue of the workday leaving my body and diligently sucking this man, who was lighting a cigarette. I sucked harder and I guided his hand to the back of my head. He pushed.

When he was close, I gave attention to his balls. His cock was inches away from my face. He kept pumping and shoots on my face.

A sigh and some breaths later, he pointed to the water fountains a ten feet away from us, I didn't go, I licked some cum off my lips and took the cum of my face with my hand and wiping it all in my shirt.

He pointed up and I saw a homeless person sleeping in one of the plastic boxes a few feet from us.

Moments later, my eyes sting.

An inappropriate revelation: I need to focus more on my personal projects.

II.

Several months after, I was inspired to go back to the apps and scout for some f/suck. Partly because Ace was sick at the moment.

I thought I was hot shit really, but the issues of the past seems to know when to haunt me the most. Rather, my old habits of desperation and neediness seems to go back on because, in essence, I really have no idea how these apps and their contexts work.

First guy who messaged me got more photos of my cock and only a sliver of his back. I was duped, it's a nice thing that I didn't show him my face.

I was cowered back to this shameful creature. It's a shame really, because I look good.