In one of my overnight stays with Old Guard, I got a fever.
I started getting the signs as I trekked up to his place after work. I know it was happening and I didn't stop myself. I want to meet him, I want to get fucked, and I want to have company.
My body was saying, "no man, you are fucking exhausted and need some alone time to unwind and get well. No sharing of body fluids!" I was not listening.
When I got in, we did it like some old couple. Me in his shirt and my jockstrap (the black one that laces on the front), prancing around in the semi-buff and him cooking us both breakfast and bathing me.
In between the first and the second session, I got the fever that went through over the night. I became his human radiator/body pillow. Really having the works: bodily pain, loss of appetite, exhaustion, and chills.
However, in the end of the visit. I got to play with his vibrators. Two of them.
After washing me, he prepped my hole first. I was on my back with my legs up, and he rimmed me. My toes curl and uncurl and he worked his way on my hole and I moaned as thanks to the sensations.
After a few moments, he took out what looked like an Arneos, the same one he played with me while my ankles where tied on a stick and up in the air. There's a curve that touches my taint and under my balls. and he set it on. It's not as sensational as a finger probing in there, but it was very comfortable to the sudden jolts of a finger.
It's like a really intense vibrating massage. You know how when your phone vibrates close to your cock? It's that, only better.
While he probes and shifts the thing a bit to probe that spot a bit more, he sits on my face and I preceded to eat his ass. I was surprised to see a few spots. Like beauty marks near ones lips. I traced those spots and worked my tongue over at the bulls-eye.
"Feels different ya?" He asked, before he tongued the area where my hole meets the vibrator.
"Yeah." I lean my head back.
He lifted himself a little to sooner than I liked, then switched the black one to a standard vibrator that looks like a Kalashnikov bullet. Neon Pink with a black base.
He pushed it inside and it felt a little better. The vibrating sensations got a little intense and he jack me off.
I love it when Old Guard jacks me off. He's a man who knows a value of patience. He doesn't continuously go up and down like an amateur would. He stops at the head and twists it around a bit, and takes his time to go down there feeling you up with his other hand in the process. "Sensitizing the body", as he'd call it. I'd do the same thing the second time I saw Cowboy.
Cumming was intense. It starts of with a humming and then a short circuit of everything. A sensation that lasts a few seconds that can only be brought about by another hand and a few long long minutes. My whole body would make spasms, my eyes would grow wide (some odd contortion in between pain and pleasure) and I'd forget my name for a few seconds.
Showing posts with label mental. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental. Show all posts
20140615
Challenge Accepted
As of posting, I'm in the middle of being chaste till I meet with Old Guard. This would be the longest period of not jacking off; a week and a few days. This would be easier if there was a chastity device preventing me to even touch my cock (I leak a lot), but when you're not jacking off for someone it's a little easier. In addition, there are also tons of distractions from jacking off like work, projects, friends, and family. (Except the fucking dog whose licking all over the fucking place.)
After seeing Old Guard, I have at least a day and a half to jack off like a gym rat on a cheat day. One porn after another (I try to cum after the seven minute mark) in a quiet space where I can't be disturbed, licking my fingers of the evidence. When we schedule the next meeting, I tell him that I wont be jacking off until then. Fucking genius.
Reminding myself of this predicament, I remember jacking off in the school bus; I was the last kid to get out and all I need to do was to open the fly of my school uniform shorts (sexy amirite?), and later on slacks pants, and rub my cock through my white briefs until I explode. It was easy, all I need to do was look normal from the chest up and leave the cum on my briefs till I go home.
I can lie about being chaste and since I can do multiple orgasms alone (Seven within approx 24 hours) and with someone (Old Guard: four, two of which are dry, within approx 32 hours), I need to make sure not to jack off 5-6hours before I get to his place. But like any overachieving asshole, I'm into games and challenges. Also, I actually believe in the value and integrity of my word, and when I say, "I will not cum," I will not fucking cum. I don't know why I make it harder on myself.
Exhibit A: On one of our first tries for a missionary position, Ace's 7" would really hurt me. Sometimes, I make his job harder by not telling him and taking it like a trooper. He'd notice though and we'd go back to spooning.
"I was just seeing if I can go further," I reasoned as we cuddled.
"uhuh," he replied. His cock still inside me.
Exhibit B: I borrow a dozen library books all at once. I also try to read two at a time.
Exhibit C: I actually fainted during a workout. (2)
This adventurous spirit probably came from a past so restrained in all material and non-material ways (most where my fault), that one day I just said, "fuck it, let's let loose."
However, in some twisted paradox, I come to love the restraint Old Guard provides.
At one time, we started to drift off to sleep and it's the most comfy and horny state I've been in. My wrists and ankles are cuffed together with soft black leather, and he's spooning behind me, hands all over my body. My shallow breaths and mewls were interrupted by an occasional smack on my ass or stomach. He told me I was hard all night.
Maybe this "kink", as Old Guard would say, comes from my love of the bear necessities. The appreciation I have to the limits I learned to appreciate, respect and, at the same time, push against.
Or maybe I'm just a pig with untapped potential?
20140529
Self Limits
Night. I have my usual jacket-shirt-jeans garb on which is enough to ward off the freezing night winds. I was in the app waiting to get invited in.
I was waiting to be invited to this chub's place for some fucking and I was also chatting it up with nice looking Guy, a Pacific Islander who I think is handsome. I called Chub in the phone number he gave to me for an interview. Turns out, Guy is in the same apartment as Chub is; foursome in the making.
Talking with Chub was really interesting. In the app there was this occasional "bro" every sentence, but when it got to the phone call, the syntax was completely different. It didn't help that the voice in my imagination was totally different from the voice I'm hearing at the other end. It was way higher than I expected. Very high.
I was walking around the block, wrapping myself with my jacket with one hand while holding the phone with the other. I understand now that as host, Chub needs to practically know a lot more about me than physical appearance. Harmony between people (four in this case) is more than just good looks.
"The last bus goes out at around 1AM."
"Oh, that's gonna be rushed. When do you start work?"
"I start work at six..."
"Oh, you can't come in at three? four? five?"
"That's usually a time I set for my personal self."
Apart from time and space, there was another problem.
"... I don't even know if your a top---" His "significant other" is a top and Guy is a vers.
"Oh, I'm a bottom," I said (a little too automatically for my taste).
"Oh, we need a top ---"
Whatever was said here was blocked in my head, there was also this cold pit in my stomach. This is a week or so back from a long hiatus from the apps/internet, finding my old habits of dealing with rejection. The thing with Ace still stung.
Yes, I felt dejected and totally unworthy of sexual attraction. Yes, I took that very personally and got fucking sad.
He was apologizing, and I was rushing him with "okay" and "It's fine" because my manners were running thin.
I went home. Indignant.
I got pinged at the app once again. It was JD and Husky.
Husky was located somewhere between a bus transfer, in a neighborhood that's really dark. It's also sketchy because I got mugged a few times. Walking at night to Husky's place is a nightmare to my irrational mind.
From the bus stop to his place is about fifteen to twenty minutes, not to mention that it's an uphill walk. I calculated that there's an hour to get there, fuck or whatever, and get out. Running downhill is easier so there's a five minute margin.
I went to find the place. It took a while of dodging cars and running to the next puddle of light to finally get there. A car and an occasional person on a bike would make my heart jump. It also doesn't help that his place was near a park with no lights (it also doesn't help that most of my clothes are dark). My imagination is on double time and the images I came with did not induce any boners in my case.
I finally figured out the place, and he met me at the entrance of the complex. His makeshift bed, a blanket and futon, was right next to the front door while light from a room bleeds in. He warns me to be quiet.
Husky asked me in the app a week before if I was okay with him being "husky". I told him its okay, I consider myself "husky" too. He's about my height and twenty to thirty pounds heavier than me.
Aside from the bed, there's one large wicker chair and a flat screen TV in the living room. We kissed in the semi-dark, if he was trying to suck my face the way his lips moved over mine would've been perfect. I really didn't want to kneel and initiate a blowjob first, but I did. The carpeted floor made my descent a little comfortable.
His cock was easy to slide in my mouth. Fueled with indignation and just plain horny, I bobbed up and down as expertly as I could. We tussled a few, until the only article of clothing left between us was his Green Lantern t-shirt flipped over his head exposing his smooth and large belly. Husky actually tried to pry my head off his dick three times because he was close to cumming. Then he'd guide my face to his so we'd kiss in breaks.
I was waiting to be invited to this chub's place for some fucking and I was also chatting it up with nice looking Guy, a Pacific Islander who I think is handsome. I called Chub in the phone number he gave to me for an interview. Turns out, Guy is in the same apartment as Chub is; foursome in the making.
Talking with Chub was really interesting. In the app there was this occasional "bro" every sentence, but when it got to the phone call, the syntax was completely different. It didn't help that the voice in my imagination was totally different from the voice I'm hearing at the other end. It was way higher than I expected. Very high.
I was walking around the block, wrapping myself with my jacket with one hand while holding the phone with the other. I understand now that as host, Chub needs to practically know a lot more about me than physical appearance. Harmony between people (four in this case) is more than just good looks.
"The last bus goes out at around 1AM."
"Oh, that's gonna be rushed. When do you start work?"
"I start work at six..."
"Oh, you can't come in at three? four? five?"
"That's usually a time I set for my personal self."
Apart from time and space, there was another problem.
"... I don't even know if your a top---" His "significant other" is a top and Guy is a vers.
"Oh, I'm a bottom," I said (a little too automatically for my taste).
"Oh, we need a top ---"
Whatever was said here was blocked in my head, there was also this cold pit in my stomach. This is a week or so back from a long hiatus from the apps/internet, finding my old habits of dealing with rejection. The thing with Ace still stung.
Yes, I felt dejected and totally unworthy of sexual attraction. Yes, I took that very personally and got fucking sad.
He was apologizing, and I was rushing him with "okay" and "It's fine" because my manners were running thin.
I went home. Indignant.
I got pinged at the app once again. It was JD and Husky.
Husky was located somewhere between a bus transfer, in a neighborhood that's really dark. It's also sketchy because I got mugged a few times. Walking at night to Husky's place is a nightmare to my irrational mind.
From the bus stop to his place is about fifteen to twenty minutes, not to mention that it's an uphill walk. I calculated that there's an hour to get there, fuck or whatever, and get out. Running downhill is easier so there's a five minute margin.
I went to find the place. It took a while of dodging cars and running to the next puddle of light to finally get there. A car and an occasional person on a bike would make my heart jump. It also doesn't help that his place was near a park with no lights (it also doesn't help that most of my clothes are dark). My imagination is on double time and the images I came with did not induce any boners in my case.
I finally figured out the place, and he met me at the entrance of the complex. His makeshift bed, a blanket and futon, was right next to the front door while light from a room bleeds in. He warns me to be quiet.
Husky asked me in the app a week before if I was okay with him being "husky". I told him its okay, I consider myself "husky" too. He's about my height and twenty to thirty pounds heavier than me.
Aside from the bed, there's one large wicker chair and a flat screen TV in the living room. We kissed in the semi-dark, if he was trying to suck my face the way his lips moved over mine would've been perfect. I really didn't want to kneel and initiate a blowjob first, but I did. The carpeted floor made my descent a little comfortable.
His cock was easy to slide in my mouth. Fueled with indignation and just plain horny, I bobbed up and down as expertly as I could. We tussled a few, until the only article of clothing left between us was his Green Lantern t-shirt flipped over his head exposing his smooth and large belly. Husky actually tried to pry my head off his dick three times because he was close to cumming. Then he'd guide my face to his so we'd kiss in breaks.
20140503
Appointment
Ace: Slut
A: LOL
Z: You knew that the moment you laid eyes on me. LOL
A: HaHa
Week After.
Z: Guy #2 is an ex-military. Fucking hot and quite an inspiring guy.
Z: It might not look like it, bit it really is a productive day today. LOL
A: Nice.
Z: I made a mistake of making him cum outside. Dude. He's as big as you. AND HIS ASS WAS DELICIOUS.
Z: Then I wrote some e-mails did some some work and read a magazine. I can't believe it man, I'm a really lucky guy.
A: Damn wish I was playing maybe we could do a three way
Z: It was a real quick one. Fucking rough. God I love it.
Z: Skinny type of guy. Looks like that actor.
Z: Heeeey. Aren't you supposed to be a good boy? [Ace is dating someone]
A: Hmmmmm, Could be fun!!
Z: Lol. The mister might not be that strict. lol
A: Hmmmm
Z: Hmmmmmmm [fuck, I hate the "hmmmm" the fuck does that mean?]
Z: My fear of staying after hours in the shop. Because that seems to be the only place, is that I'll miss the last bus. But thats just 6 hours of reading and napping at the bus stop [for the next bus]. Lol. Whatever. There are other cocks.
A: The adventurer!
Later that night.
Z (from my phone): That day seems best.
Old Guard (his desktop computer): ok, you plan to be here 8am? also, sleep here then when rested want to learn more sub play? how long do you want to stay?
Z: As long as you can. Last bus at 12 I believe. I'll double check. I was wondering if we can use the fleshlight if thats ok.
O: Sure, guess u never used one.
Z: Nope
Z: Also, teach me that tie thing. Lol.
O: different feel, u will find out esp if u are tied
O: on ur cock/balls?
O: u liked it huh?
Z: I did. It was so interesting I wanna take pictures.
O: sure.
Z: I think I'm not ready for a blindfold yet. I dunno why, I think its because I like my vision so much.
O: confirm the day before if that day is definite, hope u are not working too hard
Z: Nope. I learned to take the right amount. Also vitamins and sleep.
O: sure, perhaps later, blindfolds creates more of a mental aspect in bondage, the mind works alot if cant see
Z; That;s the thing. The mind gets to more thinking. You just shut one of the avenues.
O: yes but that is the idea. e.g. bondage ur feeling now is transferred to ur skin on ur body, u will become very sensitive even areas not before
Z: I trained my mine to be more quiet. Then this?
O: well see how u enjoy bondage, then see how things evolve
Z: Yup.
O: to me that's when bdsm play is all about, experimentation and potential expansion of pleasures and growth
Z: how many subs did you go through so far?
O: actually not many as u think, people talk of it more than willing to try it. it tends to be more fantasy than reality to most.
Z: Would it be called different if lets say drawing blood was involved?
O: actually no, blood is in the realm of bdsm, just a vast majority don't do it. e.g. breath control, etc. there are areas very few venture into
Z: Ok. Hows your end doing?
O: am doing ok, nothing much, also, seems u have not participated into a lot of "kink" play?
Z: rough fucks seems to be the closets ever. Its so funny I had sex twice yesterday and I really like the shorter and rougher second one. I didn't even cum.
Z: turns out I really really like rimming
Z: *love
O: rough makes u feel more like an "it" versus a person? for u?
Z: It's not really being objectified. the second one made me feel a little like masturbatory material rather than a sex partner.
Z: so being used wasn't that fun.
Z: what I really liked and had fun with the guy was the blase-ness of it and the intense sensations.
O: ah ok, we'll see. I like feedback from u what turns u on or not. I tend to develop methods to excite
Z: there was no pretense. We just drove right in it. Then we talked about shit and whatever after.
Z: I'll tell you more about it. It's still fresh in my head.
O: ok, seems u are being experiential with different guys.
Z: I guess so.
O: ok, going to bed, catch you later
Z: yep
O: have ur wrists been tied to ur ankles to expose ur ass for fucking
Z: nope.
Before I could ask why did he ask, I was cut off by his reply.
O: ok
O: anyways chat more, gonna go offline, take care
Z: K
Son of a bitch. The next day.
O: need to cancel tomorrow meeting, wont be able to host.
Z: okay. That put a damper in me.
Then silence, I didn't bother. I have a feeling that was intentional.
20140426
Technique
Boy: Nice body bro how's ya day going
Zen: Thanks. You look good too. Been going good. You?
B: It's alright lol bored haha
Z: Lol
B: What u up to bro?
Z: Getting ready for a long day.
B: Dam u going to work?
Z: Errands. Work Out. Work.
B: Nice I just started at [gym]
Z: Cool. Whats the goal?
B: Drop weight n tone up
Z: Get more definite (time? weight?) Then keep a food journal. You'll be ok.
B: Thanks bro any advice is good advice cuz small kine lost wen come to dis stuff but yea thanks
Z: Last thing is mental side. Good luck. You deserve great things. Also, Technique. Then speed. Then power.
B: I have to develop a routine right now just focusing on cardio n small like weights maybe one day if can you could help me out
Z: Lol. You'll be fine on your own. Maybe we'll meet one day. Who the fuck knows? Focus on yourself is important.
B: Lol ugh ok thanks lol
Boy reminded me of myself before I moved here. I'm just glad I'm lighter and more mobile. Yeah, he's on the fat side.
20140423
Moron
We met from my post in the internet. When I look back at it, I was a desperate immature git; it's a relief that I actually improved. I was green, stupid, and horny late teenager. He was around twice my age.
We met at a park in his part of the state. I was tired from lack of sleep and too warm from my jacket.
He drove me to his house. Roughly an hour.
Being a little more prudish back then, I balked when his hand went over to my crotch. Well, he was driving through a crowded street.
He owns a large lot with a small house and a vegetable garden.
We went inside. Foreplay wasn't that much. He smoked weed and I sucked his cock.
I had no knowledge of anatomy whatsoever and I have an awful thing about learning things the hard way.
I insisted that he wear a condom and fuck me on my back.
Years later, I would've told this youngster that unless the person has a disproportionately small penis, fucking on his back is a little painful unless there's A LOT of lube in there and a lot of stretching involved. Also, lots of foreplay.
Good news was, I didn't end up being fucked on my back. It was on my stomach.
Bad news: no lube.
It was one of the most painful sexual experiences ever. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I didn't have enough mental and physical strength to actually get this man off me, so I fucking took it. The pain and all.
It felt like hours.
But as you can see, I'm alive and better.
When it was done, he took out the condom and I got a shower. Got dressed. He gave me some stuff from his vegetable garden, and I got to the furthest bus stop as he can take me. He told me how expensive the gas was. I told him I'm having a headache.
My long hair's wet, I have a headache and I didn't cum.
Months after I met Ace.
We met at a park in his part of the state. I was tired from lack of sleep and too warm from my jacket.
He drove me to his house. Roughly an hour.
Being a little more prudish back then, I balked when his hand went over to my crotch. Well, he was driving through a crowded street.
He owns a large lot with a small house and a vegetable garden.
We went inside. Foreplay wasn't that much. He smoked weed and I sucked his cock.
I had no knowledge of anatomy whatsoever and I have an awful thing about learning things the hard way.
I insisted that he wear a condom and fuck me on my back.
Years later, I would've told this youngster that unless the person has a disproportionately small penis, fucking on his back is a little painful unless there's A LOT of lube in there and a lot of stretching involved. Also, lots of foreplay.
Good news was, I didn't end up being fucked on my back. It was on my stomach.
Bad news: no lube.
It was one of the most painful sexual experiences ever. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I didn't have enough mental and physical strength to actually get this man off me, so I fucking took it. The pain and all.
It felt like hours.
But as you can see, I'm alive and better.
When it was done, he took out the condom and I got a shower. Got dressed. He gave me some stuff from his vegetable garden, and I got to the furthest bus stop as he can take me. He told me how expensive the gas was. I told him I'm having a headache.
My long hair's wet, I have a headache and I didn't cum.
Months after I met Ace.
20140410
Exxxit
I was in a place where everything is at luxury prices and there's a scarcity in restrooms. Hotels, hi-rises, and stores litter the landscape and everything was touristy. I was supposed to have my cock sucked by a gentleman in his 60s. Unfortunately, I backed out. I didn't feel like it at that time.
I saw him before he saw me, and I made some excuse that's reasonable enough.
With the people, local and tourist inside the cafe and the people outside walking about, I can hide myself easily, despite the fact that I seem to be the only person with an unnecessary layer of clothing on sporting a Mohawk.
Looking back at it I never learned the lesson that what you give out, you get. I was really thirsty up to that point, and I finally got back to my senses. As I remembered this man, looking left and right and leaning forward on the chair as if he's frantically looking for something, I realized that it was a good choice at the moment to call it quits and enjoy my coffee. He gave up after twenty minutes. His form, stout in the middle, walking briskly to the crosswalk.
In between my coffee and newspaper, I was enjoying a chat with Security.
Security is three decades my senior and a few inches shorter than me. I find good rapport with talking to him that later, I actually attempted to have a threesome with him and Ace (it did not happen).
We ended up sucking each others' cock on the fire escape stairwell of his apartment building a few blocks away.
He can't host because his roommate is in the apartment, so he (jokingly, he told me later) proposed to do it in the stairwell, because he did it before and it went good.
We meet in the cafe. He's an inch or so shorter than me, with a little belly that all middle aged men regularly have, and his white hair is short and spiked, and he's white... probably a little Italian in him. I didn't ask and I don't care.
We walked over to his apartment building. He led me inside and up to his floor
The stairwell was clean and well maintained; as expected from a high income bracket area.
We sat on the stairs and started making out. He opened my pants and took the position between my legs and started to suck me off.
Since I'm relatively new to the world of fucking and this is my first stairwell fuck I was a bit anxious about relaxing and cumming in his mouth without the aid of my hand. I was just a person ridden with anxiety.
Yes, I was an anxious nutcase.
By some miracle I manage to relax. I caressed his head and pushed him into my groin that met him halfway with my thrusts. I leaned my head back and I came. A few seconds after, I guided his mouth to mine, there was little cum left. I never really intend on cum swapping with him, but he thought I was. I just agreed.
His cock was good sized. It fit my mouth nicely. I was touching him all over and hollowing my cheeks out. He came and per his instructions, I kept the cum in my mouth, large enough to gargle with.
We shared it. It was salty and our kiss was wet and sloppy. It dripped outside to our lips and with out tongues, we kept it inside until we both swallowed everything.
After that I'm still trying to get as much cum out of my face by my tongue, after a few tongue licks, I just ended it with the back of my hand and licked the evidence clear.
We went back to the cafe and drank coffee, I ate some donuts and we talked.
"... hopefully something else." We toasted our clear plastic cups. I forgot the first part of the sentence. But the latter part surprised me, I hope he's not alluding to a relationship. No, I wasn't interested.
We'd swap some life stories: It seems he came out later in his life a decade or so ago, divorcee, and no children. Still, he made a comfortable life for himself with benefits from early retirement and all that.
We'd also swap sex stories and make each other hard.
"You didn't wear braces?"
"No. These are all natural."
He thinks that's hot.
"You fucking asshole, I'm fucking hard right now." I said under gritted teeth.
He, who seemed to have better control than me, just smiled and said, "well same here."
We said our "see-you-later"s and I went to work pretty content.
I saw him before he saw me, and I made some excuse that's reasonable enough.
With the people, local and tourist inside the cafe and the people outside walking about, I can hide myself easily, despite the fact that I seem to be the only person with an unnecessary layer of clothing on sporting a Mohawk.
Looking back at it I never learned the lesson that what you give out, you get. I was really thirsty up to that point, and I finally got back to my senses. As I remembered this man, looking left and right and leaning forward on the chair as if he's frantically looking for something, I realized that it was a good choice at the moment to call it quits and enjoy my coffee. He gave up after twenty minutes. His form, stout in the middle, walking briskly to the crosswalk.
In between my coffee and newspaper, I was enjoying a chat with Security.
Security is three decades my senior and a few inches shorter than me. I find good rapport with talking to him that later, I actually attempted to have a threesome with him and Ace (it did not happen).
We ended up sucking each others' cock on the fire escape stairwell of his apartment building a few blocks away.
He can't host because his roommate is in the apartment, so he (jokingly, he told me later) proposed to do it in the stairwell, because he did it before and it went good.
We meet in the cafe. He's an inch or so shorter than me, with a little belly that all middle aged men regularly have, and his white hair is short and spiked, and he's white... probably a little Italian in him. I didn't ask and I don't care.
We walked over to his apartment building. He led me inside and up to his floor
The stairwell was clean and well maintained; as expected from a high income bracket area.
We sat on the stairs and started making out. He opened my pants and took the position between my legs and started to suck me off.
Since I'm relatively new to the world of fucking and this is my first stairwell fuck I was a bit anxious about relaxing and cumming in his mouth without the aid of my hand. I was just a person ridden with anxiety.
Yes, I was an anxious nutcase.
By some miracle I manage to relax. I caressed his head and pushed him into my groin that met him halfway with my thrusts. I leaned my head back and I came. A few seconds after, I guided his mouth to mine, there was little cum left. I never really intend on cum swapping with him, but he thought I was. I just agreed.
His cock was good sized. It fit my mouth nicely. I was touching him all over and hollowing my cheeks out. He came and per his instructions, I kept the cum in my mouth, large enough to gargle with.
We shared it. It was salty and our kiss was wet and sloppy. It dripped outside to our lips and with out tongues, we kept it inside until we both swallowed everything.
After that I'm still trying to get as much cum out of my face by my tongue, after a few tongue licks, I just ended it with the back of my hand and licked the evidence clear.
We went back to the cafe and drank coffee, I ate some donuts and we talked.
"... hopefully something else." We toasted our clear plastic cups. I forgot the first part of the sentence. But the latter part surprised me, I hope he's not alluding to a relationship. No, I wasn't interested.
We'd swap some life stories: It seems he came out later in his life a decade or so ago, divorcee, and no children. Still, he made a comfortable life for himself with benefits from early retirement and all that.
We'd also swap sex stories and make each other hard.
"You didn't wear braces?"
"No. These are all natural."
He thinks that's hot.
"You fucking asshole, I'm fucking hard right now." I said under gritted teeth.
He, who seemed to have better control than me, just smiled and said, "well same here."
We said our "see-you-later"s and I went to work pretty content.
20140327
Noob
I was getting on the bus on my way to work when I got pinged.
First message: his cock photo.
At that time, I was amazed.
Probably around 6, it has a consistent thinness from base to head. He's cut.
He told me to meet him at the Department Store, third floor men's restroom.
"Power walk" would be a right term to how I got there.
When I got into the restroom, I was in front of the middle bathroom stall, thinking that we'd both see each other and fuck there. It took me a while to figure out what this scene meant.
So, I took the handicapped stall and put some toilet seat paper liners on the seat and waited for whatever. Then he lowers himself to the partition and slid his cock under it.
Oh, so that's how it works.
I immediately prostrated myself on the restroom floor, not caring for cleanliness, I'm sucking cock. I put the whole thing in my mouth, it fits comfortably in there sitting at the back of my throat, poking a bit on my gag reflexes.
We traded blowjobs and played red-light-jump-squat-green-light-jump-squat with the people who actually need to use the restroom. At one point, he puts his finger up my ass.
Three times, I jumped back and forth to the seat and floor. It was a comfortable jump because of the handicap stall. You can do calisthenics in there. Pure adrenaline and testosterone.
I ended up cumming by just sitting there in the sheer novelty of the experience. And shame, let's not forget that. I can't hold it in. A stream of white came out the slit, my head moist.
I apologized for cumming, thought thinking back, I wish I stayed there and let the other guy lap over my cum. And stick more of his fingers up my ass.
But no. I fucking apologized for cumming early.
When I left the stall, it seems he was preoccupied by another person at his right. Oh, this was a master.
Sex was still new and evil to me. Sex outside the bedroom was extremely a no-no, I was taught.
I went to work late.
First message: his cock photo.
At that time, I was amazed.
Probably around 6, it has a consistent thinness from base to head. He's cut.
He told me to meet him at the Department Store, third floor men's restroom.
"Power walk" would be a right term to how I got there.
When I got into the restroom, I was in front of the middle bathroom stall, thinking that we'd both see each other and fuck there. It took me a while to figure out what this scene meant.
So, I took the handicapped stall and put some toilet seat paper liners on the seat and waited for whatever. Then he lowers himself to the partition and slid his cock under it.
Oh, so that's how it works.
I immediately prostrated myself on the restroom floor, not caring for cleanliness, I'm sucking cock. I put the whole thing in my mouth, it fits comfortably in there sitting at the back of my throat, poking a bit on my gag reflexes.
We traded blowjobs and played red-light-jump-squat-green-light-jump-squat with the people who actually need to use the restroom. At one point, he puts his finger up my ass.
Three times, I jumped back and forth to the seat and floor. It was a comfortable jump because of the handicap stall. You can do calisthenics in there. Pure adrenaline and testosterone.
I ended up cumming by just sitting there in the sheer novelty of the experience. And shame, let's not forget that. I can't hold it in. A stream of white came out the slit, my head moist.
I apologized for cumming, thought thinking back, I wish I stayed there and let the other guy lap over my cum. And stick more of his fingers up my ass.
But no. I fucking apologized for cumming early.
When I left the stall, it seems he was preoccupied by another person at his right. Oh, this was a master.
Sex was still new and evil to me. Sex outside the bedroom was extremely a no-no, I was taught.
I went to work late.
20140307
Enough 3
IV
I'm in the mall that afternoon. Hot. Haven't eaten breakfast. I just got there in hopes of getting some dick.
It was shameful really. I was grovelling without a grovel-ee.
I realized that it was such a disrespectful display for myself. I went back to my hang-out to eat.
V
I chatted up with someone on the way back.
A very good looking guy in an open relationship. I'm curious about these things.
"Do you have some rules?"
"Yeah... I got to tell the partner first." He typed.
We traded body and face pics. He's a good looking guy, leaner and more defined than me. His skin is almost translucent, like it's glowing or something. A David splashed with flesh tone. Some wonders of Pacific Islander combined with White ancestry.
In a restroom, I took of my jacket, shirt and dropped my pants to my knees.
I got called a stud.
That compliment was like an expensive gem someone would find on the street.
I was overjoyed, but some parts of me couldn't believe the compliment. So i had to double-check with Ace.
"Yes, you are a stud," he texted back.
I felt good.
I'm in the mall that afternoon. Hot. Haven't eaten breakfast. I just got there in hopes of getting some dick.
It was shameful really. I was grovelling without a grovel-ee.
I realized that it was such a disrespectful display for myself. I went back to my hang-out to eat.
V
I chatted up with someone on the way back.
A very good looking guy in an open relationship. I'm curious about these things.
"Do you have some rules?"
"Yeah... I got to tell the partner first." He typed.
We traded body and face pics. He's a good looking guy, leaner and more defined than me. His skin is almost translucent, like it's glowing or something. A David splashed with flesh tone. Some wonders of Pacific Islander combined with White ancestry.
In a restroom, I took of my jacket, shirt and dropped my pants to my knees.
I got called a stud.
That compliment was like an expensive gem someone would find on the street.
I was overjoyed, but some parts of me couldn't believe the compliment. So i had to double-check with Ace.
"Yes, you are a stud," he texted back.
I felt good.
20140304
Uncle
I called myself X.
About three miles from where I slept, there's this guy with a day laborer' s body. When I felt him there's a hard shoulder under some padding of fat. Dark skin tone, a real local kine guy.
I woke up so early at Saturday morning and I can't sleep, so I took his invite. I took the bus. I'm in his street, but I had difficulty looking where he is.
"Em hea by the street kornah. The house with the forty-niner flags." I suprised myself on how pidgin smoothly rolled out of me. I still think of myself as new.
"Jus go walk, I'll meechu."
"Any landmarks?"
"What?"
"Landmarks?"
sniggering, "houses." Fucking wiseass.
I went back in the street the second time, it's brighter because it's six already and I saw him, arms perched at the front gate. When I was caressing his scalp later, the back of his head had thinned. I like that.
"It's cold," he said. I agreed and wanted to piss. He told me to piss at the corner of the house. I walked through the well manicured front lawn to a bird of paradise. I wondered why he didn't let me just use the bathroom.
Turns out the other occupants of the house where asleep. With their bedroom door open. In my socks and him barefoot, we went to his room, which gave me the impression that he's living with a family, or maybe with his kids.
Before we got inside. He introduced himself and I told him my name was X. I don't know why I used a fake name.
I let him take the lead, he likes muscular (he asked me) and straight acting (from what I read on his profile). It's feels amazing that I seem to fit both from what he's seeing, I haven't sunk into this new body yet. Though, I'd consider myself stocky..
In his room, a compact cube lined with a TV, boxes, shelves and a desk, he got undressed and set up the porn and reminded me again to keep quiet. He told me that the people wake up at around 7:20, which means we have roughly 30 minutes to work with.
It was a good 20 inch flat screen TV playing 90s porn of muscled guys and clothing that I'd throw away. I take pride in my uniform black jacket, jeans, white shirt, and worn out sneakers.
I left my boxer briefs on when I went to the bed, brushing my crotch to his knee. I waited for his move, and he sucked on my nipple. I got naked.
We seem to have the same height and body type. My skin lighter than his.
"You shame? No shame.."
I smiled. "No, just lazy."
It looked like were just going to masturbate, until he got right on top of me to feed me his cock. I did get to suck on his pit, it was nice a morning dew of someone.
His cock feels nice in my mouth, not as deep as Ace, but deep enough to tickle the back of my throat. He's got good sturdy legs too.
When he got back down to try and fuck me, I went to watching the porn and jack off. He finally got in when I turned around and buried my face into the pillow with my ass up and my hands pulling my cheeks apart. He spared on the lube as he got in me, it stings.
He reminded me to be quiet, I moved his hand from my shoulder to my mouth. No, his paw. Calloused and heavy, damn.
After pumping into me some more, he took himself out. "I don't know if you poz," he said.
I just smiled as he lay on my side.
"Hey Uncle, you like kiss?" As I said these, he shushed me. My normal voice was too loud for him.
I leaned my head to his direction, I'm waiting for his move. He was very slow, but I can felt his breath. It's warm. His kissed softly. Mild. His mustache tickles.
I got bored and just stroked myself to climax, he clamped down his large hand on my mouth to make sure I'm not making any sounds. I arched my back and spasmed.. a little to dramatically. I stuck my tongue out and licked his hand.
He didn't cum. I felt triumphant and a little guilty.
It was 7:10 so we made it in time, we went out in the same manner. He made small talk as I tie my shoes.
"Do you smoke?"
"No."
"You go to clubs?"
"No."
"Yeah, I don't do that."
I learned that he's divorced (it looks like his kid's photographs where on his desk). We got out of the gate and arranged to meet next week.
"See you later," I said.
"Bye bu." His reply reminded me of how new I am. (It means "bro")
I didn't know why I used X the second he introduced himself. It felt like to instinctive reaction, since I was playing a character from the beginning. I was very deliberate with my everything, including my voice, speech patterns, and even movements.
For some reason, I felt power. Like I accomplished something. Like this validated what I thought of myself all along: a stud.
However, such veneer is annoying. You can't move freely, but I guess a limit is what makes stuff exciting. The thrill of edging out and being slammed back in.
About three miles from where I slept, there's this guy with a day laborer' s body. When I felt him there's a hard shoulder under some padding of fat. Dark skin tone, a real local kine guy.
I woke up so early at Saturday morning and I can't sleep, so I took his invite. I took the bus. I'm in his street, but I had difficulty looking where he is.
"Em hea by the street kornah. The house with the forty-niner flags." I suprised myself on how pidgin smoothly rolled out of me. I still think of myself as new.
"Jus go walk, I'll meechu."
"Any landmarks?"
"What?"
"Landmarks?"
sniggering, "houses." Fucking wiseass.
I went back in the street the second time, it's brighter because it's six already and I saw him, arms perched at the front gate. When I was caressing his scalp later, the back of his head had thinned. I like that.
"It's cold," he said. I agreed and wanted to piss. He told me to piss at the corner of the house. I walked through the well manicured front lawn to a bird of paradise. I wondered why he didn't let me just use the bathroom.
Turns out the other occupants of the house where asleep. With their bedroom door open. In my socks and him barefoot, we went to his room, which gave me the impression that he's living with a family, or maybe with his kids.
Before we got inside. He introduced himself and I told him my name was X. I don't know why I used a fake name.
I let him take the lead, he likes muscular (he asked me) and straight acting (from what I read on his profile). It's feels amazing that I seem to fit both from what he's seeing, I haven't sunk into this new body yet. Though, I'd consider myself stocky..
In his room, a compact cube lined with a TV, boxes, shelves and a desk, he got undressed and set up the porn and reminded me again to keep quiet. He told me that the people wake up at around 7:20, which means we have roughly 30 minutes to work with.
It was a good 20 inch flat screen TV playing 90s porn of muscled guys and clothing that I'd throw away. I take pride in my uniform black jacket, jeans, white shirt, and worn out sneakers.
I left my boxer briefs on when I went to the bed, brushing my crotch to his knee. I waited for his move, and he sucked on my nipple. I got naked.
We seem to have the same height and body type. My skin lighter than his.
"You shame? No shame.."
I smiled. "No, just lazy."
It looked like were just going to masturbate, until he got right on top of me to feed me his cock. I did get to suck on his pit, it was nice a morning dew of someone.
His cock feels nice in my mouth, not as deep as Ace, but deep enough to tickle the back of my throat. He's got good sturdy legs too.
When he got back down to try and fuck me, I went to watching the porn and jack off. He finally got in when I turned around and buried my face into the pillow with my ass up and my hands pulling my cheeks apart. He spared on the lube as he got in me, it stings.
He reminded me to be quiet, I moved his hand from my shoulder to my mouth. No, his paw. Calloused and heavy, damn.
After pumping into me some more, he took himself out. "I don't know if you poz," he said.
I just smiled as he lay on my side.
"Hey Uncle, you like kiss?" As I said these, he shushed me. My normal voice was too loud for him.
I leaned my head to his direction, I'm waiting for his move. He was very slow, but I can felt his breath. It's warm. His kissed softly. Mild. His mustache tickles.
I got bored and just stroked myself to climax, he clamped down his large hand on my mouth to make sure I'm not making any sounds. I arched my back and spasmed.. a little to dramatically. I stuck my tongue out and licked his hand.
He didn't cum. I felt triumphant and a little guilty.
It was 7:10 so we made it in time, we went out in the same manner. He made small talk as I tie my shoes.
"Do you smoke?"
"No."
"You go to clubs?"
"No."
"Yeah, I don't do that."
I learned that he's divorced (it looks like his kid's photographs where on his desk). We got out of the gate and arranged to meet next week.
"See you later," I said.
"Bye bu." His reply reminded me of how new I am. (It means "bro")
I didn't know why I used X the second he introduced himself. It felt like to instinctive reaction, since I was playing a character from the beginning. I was very deliberate with my everything, including my voice, speech patterns, and even movements.
For some reason, I felt power. Like I accomplished something. Like this validated what I thought of myself all along: a stud.
However, such veneer is annoying. You can't move freely, but I guess a limit is what makes stuff exciting. The thrill of edging out and being slammed back in.
20140301
Enough 2
III.
I got a message. OMIGOD a message!
Prof steered from a general question to a meeting. I let him without showing me a more detail photo of himself and giving his stats a second look. He didn't ask for photos either.
He proposed his office in the local university. I was stoked, Prof is a Professor in the university, it's hot and kinky!
I didn't trust my instincts enough, It was screaming no, but I was pushing against the waves.
I moved based on my assumptions.
Me [morning]: In the bus. On my way. Can I ask you for something?
Prof: Sure.
M: Role-play.
P: Can try what do you like?
M: I'm going to fail one class and I need some help or my scholarship would be shit.
I arrived in this dilapidated building in the campus. I later learned it was close to demolition. Inside, it feels like Silent Hill.
I went to the floor where his office was. After landing, all the sides were blocked with doors. I tried my left and right to no avail. The one in front of me opened.
Oh Jesus. I realized by then I should've asked for a photo. I'll admit, I still prey victim to the kind of thinking that things should be of a certain way even if you didn't do the work.
I went inside his office. It was dingy and awful, really the school should take care of its staff.
My imagination got the best of me. He's more like a superintendent or custodian.
He then locked the door, by jamming it with what seems to be a vary small screwdriver as long as my middle finger.
"Do you want to do the role-play?" He's sitting on his office chair in front of an overcrowded desk.
His radio is talking, "something in the girls bathroom... a clog." Static.
"No."
"Let's make ourselves comfortable." He walked over to where I was sitting, a fold-out mattress.
Foreplay was bland. He's probably enjoying it, but I was trying not to show my mental state on my face, which was a combination of repulsion, regret, and self-hatred for being swayed by my most primal instinct and irrational thoughts. He lay on his back while I made out with him, or rather while I sucked his moribund tongue. Move you idiot.
He used generous amounts of hand lotion and his fingers and dick slid in easily, I made it difficult for him by being fucked on my back with my legs up. I was remembering the last time Ace and I fucked, it was the first time on my back (after three years of fucking).
Because he's stomach was in the way, it was a laborious effort from the sounds of his breathing. Wheezes. From where I am, I can see under his nose; lots of white hairs in there. I wondered, if mine will look like that when I'm older. Probably.
We finally went on to spooning, still wheezing. I'm contracting my hole whenever he pulls out and pushing back at him to speed up the process.
He's plunging into me.
Pumping into my tank.
Cleaning my pipes.
Decloging my hole.
He stopped moving. Dead? He was fucking me and he died.
He sighed.
Oh.
My dick was wet, precum or spit I don't know.
He go a roll of paper towel and took out a feet or so with a movement familiar to all janitors and me. I wiped myself and stuffed it in my bag, for some reason I made sure that I never left any traces.
I was mute throughout the whole thing, answering as short as possible.
"So, hit me up when you want to talk or something."
"Yeah."
Later, he texted.
"I came a lot, did you feel that?"
Sure, there was evidence at the toilet. But I can't bring myself to lie, so I didn't answer.
I got a message. OMIGOD a message!
Prof steered from a general question to a meeting. I let him without showing me a more detail photo of himself and giving his stats a second look. He didn't ask for photos either.
He proposed his office in the local university. I was stoked, Prof is a Professor in the university, it's hot and kinky!
I didn't trust my instincts enough, It was screaming no, but I was pushing against the waves.
I moved based on my assumptions.
Me [morning]: In the bus. On my way. Can I ask you for something?
Prof: Sure.
M: Role-play.
P: Can try what do you like?
M: I'm going to fail one class and I need some help or my scholarship would be shit.
I arrived in this dilapidated building in the campus. I later learned it was close to demolition. Inside, it feels like Silent Hill.
I went to the floor where his office was. After landing, all the sides were blocked with doors. I tried my left and right to no avail. The one in front of me opened.
Oh Jesus. I realized by then I should've asked for a photo. I'll admit, I still prey victim to the kind of thinking that things should be of a certain way even if you didn't do the work.
I went inside his office. It was dingy and awful, really the school should take care of its staff.
My imagination got the best of me. He's more like a superintendent or custodian.
He then locked the door, by jamming it with what seems to be a vary small screwdriver as long as my middle finger.
"Do you want to do the role-play?" He's sitting on his office chair in front of an overcrowded desk.
His radio is talking, "something in the girls bathroom... a clog." Static.
"No."
"Let's make ourselves comfortable." He walked over to where I was sitting, a fold-out mattress.
Foreplay was bland. He's probably enjoying it, but I was trying not to show my mental state on my face, which was a combination of repulsion, regret, and self-hatred for being swayed by my most primal instinct and irrational thoughts. He lay on his back while I made out with him, or rather while I sucked his moribund tongue. Move you idiot.
He used generous amounts of hand lotion and his fingers and dick slid in easily, I made it difficult for him by being fucked on my back with my legs up. I was remembering the last time Ace and I fucked, it was the first time on my back (after three years of fucking).
Because he's stomach was in the way, it was a laborious effort from the sounds of his breathing. Wheezes. From where I am, I can see under his nose; lots of white hairs in there. I wondered, if mine will look like that when I'm older. Probably.
We finally went on to spooning, still wheezing. I'm contracting my hole whenever he pulls out and pushing back at him to speed up the process.
He's plunging into me.
Pumping into my tank.
Cleaning my pipes.
Decloging my hole.
He stopped moving. Dead? He was fucking me and he died.
He sighed.
Oh.
My dick was wet, precum or spit I don't know.
He go a roll of paper towel and took out a feet or so with a movement familiar to all janitors and me. I wiped myself and stuffed it in my bag, for some reason I made sure that I never left any traces.
I was mute throughout the whole thing, answering as short as possible.
"So, hit me up when you want to talk or something."
"Yeah."
Later, he texted.
"I came a lot, did you feel that?"
Sure, there was evidence at the toilet. But I can't bring myself to lie, so I didn't answer.
20140221
Enough 1
I.
He called out the "I'm tired" excuse.
It's past 3AM and we've been chatting for a couple of days.
I didn't know why I bluffed out, maybe I've got cold feet or maybe I just wasn't feeling it.
I told him that I want a facial (my first). He obliges. He's a bit of a large guy, looks Japanese, almost 5'5", stocky. Muscle with fat on top. Bald. Tough looking and shit.
We met in his car a few blocks where I live. I slipped in and got that new car smell. I think it was a Mazda, roomy on the feet too.
We agreed on this park several blocks away. Part children's playground, baseball park, and flat grass, by some odd stroke of fate the street lamps were cut off by the sidewalk trees. If anyone has a good set of headlights and a sharp eye, they can see us. We choose the children's playground, the slides can cover us.
I knelt on the rubber floor and he opens his shorts. I sucked on his limp dick. It wasn't long enough to be banging at the end of my throat, but it wasn't short enough to disappoint either. It was just right.
I remember the fatigue of the workday leaving my body and diligently sucking this man, who was lighting a cigarette. I sucked harder and I guided his hand to the back of my head. He pushed.
When he was close, I gave attention to his balls. His cock was inches away from my face. He kept pumping and shoots on my face.
A sigh and some breaths later, he pointed to the water fountains a ten feet away from us, I didn't go, I licked some cum off my lips and took the cum of my face with my hand and wiping it all in my shirt.
He pointed up and I saw a homeless person sleeping in one of the plastic boxes a few feet from us.
Moments later, my eyes sting.
An inappropriate revelation: I need to focus more on my personal projects.
II.
Several months after, I was inspired to go back to the apps and scout for some f/suck. Partly because Ace was sick at the moment.
I thought I was hot shit really, but the issues of the past seems to know when to haunt me the most. Rather, my old habits of desperation and neediness seems to go back on because, in essence, I really have no idea how these apps and their contexts work.
First guy who messaged me got more photos of my cock and only a sliver of his back. I was duped, it's a nice thing that I didn't show him my face.
I was cowered back to this shameful creature. It's a shame really, because I look good.
He called out the "I'm tired" excuse.
It's past 3AM and we've been chatting for a couple of days.
I didn't know why I bluffed out, maybe I've got cold feet or maybe I just wasn't feeling it.
I told him that I want a facial (my first). He obliges. He's a bit of a large guy, looks Japanese, almost 5'5", stocky. Muscle with fat on top. Bald. Tough looking and shit.
We met in his car a few blocks where I live. I slipped in and got that new car smell. I think it was a Mazda, roomy on the feet too.
We agreed on this park several blocks away. Part children's playground, baseball park, and flat grass, by some odd stroke of fate the street lamps were cut off by the sidewalk trees. If anyone has a good set of headlights and a sharp eye, they can see us. We choose the children's playground, the slides can cover us.
I knelt on the rubber floor and he opens his shorts. I sucked on his limp dick. It wasn't long enough to be banging at the end of my throat, but it wasn't short enough to disappoint either. It was just right.
I remember the fatigue of the workday leaving my body and diligently sucking this man, who was lighting a cigarette. I sucked harder and I guided his hand to the back of my head. He pushed.
When he was close, I gave attention to his balls. His cock was inches away from my face. He kept pumping and shoots on my face.
A sigh and some breaths later, he pointed to the water fountains a ten feet away from us, I didn't go, I licked some cum off my lips and took the cum of my face with my hand and wiping it all in my shirt.
He pointed up and I saw a homeless person sleeping in one of the plastic boxes a few feet from us.
Moments later, my eyes sting.
An inappropriate revelation: I need to focus more on my personal projects.
II.
Several months after, I was inspired to go back to the apps and scout for some f/suck. Partly because Ace was sick at the moment.
I thought I was hot shit really, but the issues of the past seems to know when to haunt me the most. Rather, my old habits of desperation and neediness seems to go back on because, in essence, I really have no idea how these apps and their contexts work.
First guy who messaged me got more photos of my cock and only a sliver of his back. I was duped, it's a nice thing that I didn't show him my face.
I was cowered back to this shameful creature. It's a shame really, because I look good.
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